This won't help.

I will never do any work again.

(Lovingly submitted by Dubs.)

Do you know what you see before you die?

(So ShelbSpeaks convinced me to post... Turn off your pop-up blockers: it's a YTMND.)

Do you really expect me to post every day?

If he were a carpenter, he'd not be so sad.

Follow the myspace address, too.

(Stolen from Ain't It Cool, another website I should have Andy add to the sidebar.)

Classic comedy.

Andy sounded very intrigued. I'm pretty interested, too. It's called FicML. Should be interesting to watch the development of, as a writer.

(Link taken from the blog Grand Text Auto. Watch for more of their stuff in the future.)

History was never so animated.

(See title for source, yo.)

Goes well on my bookshelf, right next to Arithmancy.

(As always, thank you, Miramontron.)

You know, following a link always leads you to another link.

Or at least take a breather after this one.

(Thanks to Cute Overload and the majority of the Internet's cuteness community)

Yet radical.

It really was a day of whoring the blog out to sponsors, wasn't it?

(By the way, this deserves a thanks to Dr. Steven Jones and some guy in a class named John... the guy, not the class. Thanks.)

Yes, I drooled, and not just over Eva Green. It has Sam Elliott as a friggin' cowboy!

Yay! I don't have to post with Eaglie's account anymore! I'm back!

I might run. But do I need an exploratory committee?

Personally, I think it would've been funny without any words.

I also don't know any other way to say it. I honestly came within a right turn of losing two of my best friends.

And as my own note, Suzie is doing well. After I was woken up at 7:30, I couldn't fall asleep, but I also couldn't just get up and go see her then. However, by 1:30, I got to see her (though the hospital's still quite finicky about visitors), and she was very alert, talkative, and high on morphine.

Yes, to answer questions, I do have her new landline phone number since she can't be reached on her cell while in the hospital. And yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, God, or leprechaun keeping watch over my loved ones.

I mean, c'mon.

If you're buying a laptop soon, buy this one.

I asked in class for a real discussion of what the hell Generation Y is, and here's a good way to begin that.

Labels: I Post of the Awesome Power of Wikipedia

We'll just get this out of the way: Boy Scout standards are getting lax if they keep getting lost in North Carolina. Hopefully no merit badges will be awarded, or I'm turning in my Arrow of Light patch for good.

All Traffic Lights Kept Green for St. Patrick's Day, Dozens Perish
Chicago's Holiday Celebration Turns Deadly



Chicago, IL- In a disastrous day for the city of Chicago, the executive order by Mayor Richard M. Daley to "Irish" up the city for St. Patrick's Day with all-green traffic lights did not go well. The traffic light vacation was ordered to end at 6pm, six hours earlier than scheduled. Still, the damage was done. Intersections across the city are still being cleaned up from pileups of cars. The deathtoll is currently at 37, and the estimated number in the hospital from the incidents is over 150.

It was an attempt, officials said, to up the ante on Chicago's St. Patrick's traditions. The city is famous across the world for dyeing its river green at St. Paddy's Day, and with this year's St. Patrick's Day being on the same day as the main parade, City Hall issued the order it would regret within hours.

"It was a mistake," Daley stated in his released apology. "We did not have the manpower to protect citizens in this level of celebration. It was an honest mistake."

Other reactions around the city were not so kind (though all stayed anonymous): "What was the Mayor thinking? Of all the ways to celebrate a drinking holiday, screwing with traffic lights is not one of them."

Another anonymous interviewee had a political opinion: "We just gave him the Democratic nomination, but I bet we can take that back. I'm sure there's a Republican we can vote for in the general election."

"Next year, maybe we should just dye all the police horses green," an anonymous officer mused.

The 2016 Olympic Committee was fortunately out of town, but the topic is sure to be discussed, nationally and internationally.

Labels: News Fit to Print

Irish Astronomy
Charles Graham Halpine

O'Ryan was a man of might
Whin Ireland was a nation,
But poachin' was his heart's delight
And constant occupation.
He had an ould milita gun,
And sartin sure his aim was;
He gave the keepers many a run,
And wouldn't mind the game laws

St. Pathrick wanst was passin' by
O'Ryan's little houldin',
And, as the saint felt wake and dhry
He thought he'd enther bould in.
"O'Ryan," says the saint, "avick!
To praich at Thurles I'm goin';
So let me have a rasher quick,
And a dhrop of Innishowen."

"No rasher will I cook for you
While betther is to spare, sir,
But here's a jug of mountain dew,
And there's a rattlin' hare, sir."
St. Pathrick he looked mighty sweet,
And says he, "Good luck attind you,
And whin you're in your windin' sheet,
It's up to heaven I'll sind you."

O'Ryan gave his pipe a whiff--
"Them tidin's is thransportin',
But may I ax your saintship if
There's any kind of sportin'?"
St. Pathrick said, "A Lion's there,
Two Bears, a Bull and Cancer"--
"Bedad," says Mick, "the huntin's rare;
St. Pathrick, I'm your man, sir."

So to conclude my song aright,
For fear I'd tire your patience
You'll see O'Ryan any night,
Amid the constellations.
And Venus follows in his track
Till Mars grows jealous raally,
But, faith, he fears the Irish knack
Of handling the shillaly.

Cap'n Tightpants in a romantic comedy?

I honestly do too much on the Internet, but usually I don't go as low as MySpace. Check it out.

SPORE STUFF!

(From Unpatriotic/Xanthus)

Pimp my geekiness.

(Ever find something like this through Google News before? It just screams to professors "Not a Legitimate Source.")

Apparently, there is a Fantasy Lacrosse league.

How many will be named Hobbes?

I went plenty of exotic places this Spring Break!


Exotic place #1


Exotic place #2


Exotic place #3

Okay. It's probably one of my last spring breaks ever, and I didn't go anywhere. I didn't leave even leave the county. But hey, there are plenty of things to do in a tiny Midwest suburban town, right?

...hmm...

...ho hum...

...hmmmmph...

...let's check Facebook again, shall we?

This is really not to say I didn't do anything over break. It's just to say I didn't do anything remotely like skydiving or gondola-riding over break. Instead, I took the opportunity to go all the places my dad told me to go. Not that I don't enjoy grocery stores, libraries, and museums. Actually, scratch "grocery stores," and then I'll be telling the truth.

I finally got myself out to the Chicago History Museum, oddly enough at a time when it takes many more transfers/stops to get there. It opened only in the last few months, and it's pretty cool if you like Chicago history. You won't find any in-depth information unless you get permission to go into the Historical Society archives, which are housed there. Unfortunately, they were closed off today, due to the great fire in the archives (yes, I went there).

I also did some searching with my dad through Forest Park Public Library and Historical Society archives. He was mostly searching for information about the cemeteries and railroads; I was looking for information about the old amusement park we had in our town, until I got sidetracked with the history of the Loyal Order of Moose. You would've, too.


First Rule of Moose Club: Don't shoot fellow Moose.

I honestly still don't know what they do, but I want in. I even went back later in the week: now I'm finding out whether the chapter still exists here and, if so, what the membership requirements are (a family history of Moose-related activities, or maybe a Trial by Blood). By the way, I think this really exemplifies what kind of scholar I am compared to my dad.

I wasn't entirely the slacker I make myself out to be. Sometimes, I was just the bad-boy scholar (Editor’s Note - ?!). The Newberry Library is a beautiful place, mind you, but they're so rule-oriented! The first time I went in and got my library card, they kicked me out after asking the question, "Are you here to browse?" (Answer: Yes, but never again.) So, maybe the question is: how many rules did Andy break?

• I walked into a small booth without remembering to sign in first.


• I leaned on a laminated map I had gotten out from the stacks.


• I took a book off a cart that was apparently at the time being re-categorized. I was swiftly reprimanded, and the victimized book of Irish genealogy was placed back on its cart.


• I also used a pen to write in my notebook on a designated "No Pens" floor.

I did, however, find some real information. For instance, did you know there are towns in Illinois named Athens and Sparta? The Greek city-states? Pretty cool! For good measure, Latin scholars and Roman historians, there are also Palmyrans and Carthaginians in our state.

While I was on my search for various information about Moose lodges, I had to have gone through hundreds of books and maps and maps of books. There were stacks and stacks: Maps of the Ancient World, Maps of Empire and War, Maps of the Heavens... A Book of Old Maps? That, I had to have a peek at. And it didn’t lie. It was a book of old maps.

My sidetracked quest for information on the Forest Park Amusement Park, however, found its way back into the picture: my dad and I might be the first of our town in recent years to find a map of it, and hopefully, the F.P. Historical Society will be gracious (probably not). This thing, dated 1909, shows all the major rides and attractions, including a fairly large rollercoaster for its day. The map is actually a heavily detailed Sanborn Fire Insurance map, which is ironic considering the park was shut down in 1922 after a massive fire.

The finale of my week might actually be exciting: I saw 300! Several times! A few times alone!

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

And in all truth, I only saw it once (so far). It feels like I saw it a dozen times, 'cause all of my friends wanted to go see it. At different theaters. In different groups of people. In different time zones. And then came *groan* Daylight Savings Time. However, 300 is really all I wanted it to be... and then some!

SPOILERS!!! Continue on, Stranger-Passing-By, FOR SPOILERS!!!
In this account of Thermopylae, 300 Spartans go to the pass, as they are fated. They and their allies, however, defeat the million Persians in a testosterone-drenched battle with rhinos and ogres, and the brave men save Western civilization in one fell swoop! Leonidas and his 298 Spartans left alive then go home to their wives with their shields happily still attached. The victory is immediately followed by an age of glory and freedom for Sparta, Athens, and their fellow city-states and finally the writing of the Illinois State Constitution.
END OF SPOILERS!!!

So maybe Spring Break wasn't everything you and I would expect. It was busy with familiar places and scholarly pursuit. Boy, was it scholarly! Isn't that the best kind of break?

Please don't answer that.

Labels: Longer Stuff

Every dollar of aid we send eastern Europe is worth it.

Yes, I know Los Angeles blew up on 24, while New York will be blowing up on Heroes. Unless they save the cheerleader. Also not a cliffhanger for me.

Whoa, did you guys all see that last episode? Cliffhanger-a-monga!

By the way, maybe I should take Dave Barry on directly and start live-blogging Heroes like he does 24. The two shows already go head on, and Heroes is WAY better.

It'll looks something like this:

UPDATE: Cliffhanger.

UPDATE: Another cliffhanger!

UPDATE: YATTA! CLIFFHANGER!

UPDATE: New York blew up. Again. It's not really a cliffhanger anymore, guys.

And so on. Check it out on NBC, Mondays at 8pm CST. Yes, I know I'm writing this on Thursday. It's 'cause I downloaded the episode. Shhhhhhhhhhhh!

...that Spider-man is NOT Power Rangers!

(Thanks to Larke.)

To Chicago! You're 170!

It can't be April Fools' Day already, can it?

HINT: Look for the Chicago Cubs.

I've been there before.

(Poached from Dave Barry. It was worth it.)

I hope nothing breaks while he's traveling to all his exotic places.

Oh, and check this out. And check Eaglie 390 at some point soon for a post about it.